


Zig

by JustHannah



Category: Degrassi, Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Danger, Depression, Drugs, Emo, F/M, Gang, Love, Social Anxiety, bad, bad boy, boy - Freeform, emo love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-21 03:25:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4813154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustHannah/pseuds/JustHannah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I just want you to know that if he hurts you, I will be there for whatever you need, I promise you I'll be there and you'll be safe again."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rebel Room

   The breath was taken out of my lungs at the image of Cam hanging with a rope around his neck inside the greenhouse outside the school.  
   Cam was my boyfriend who committed suicide almost a year ago, I found him in the greenhouse outside my school hanging from the ceiling, he wasn't breathing and his face was almost purple and just by the way he looked I knew he was dead.  
   I was the reason he did it, he told me, my phone was off that day and when I turned it back on after I found him he had called me multiple times and texted me saying that he wasn't going to live without me and if I wanted to be with someone else he would just commit suicide to take away the pain.  
   We had been together for a couple months before that and I cared about him a lot, so much that I was close to falling in love with him even though he scared me the way he got sometimes, but Zig fogged everything up for me.  
   Zig was a friend...a good friend, I had such strong feelings for him that it scared me, feelings stronger then the ones I had for Cam. But after Cam committed suicide parts of Zig changed so drastically, he became dark...he wasn't the same and I missed him a lot more then I should.  
   I know he hates me and its because I'm dating the one he hates, his name is Miles, the only reason I'm with him is because I was scared of what would happen if I said no, Miles scares me just like Cam did.  
   I looked over at the clock and turned off my alarm seeing as it would go off in another five minutes then got up. It got so hard to function correctly after what happened with Cam, everything wasn't the same, everyone wasn't the same.   
   I walked slowly to the bathroom and got ready, walking slowly had become a slight habit and after I got ready in the bathroom I went back into my room and got [dressed](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=122026042) then put my lanyard around my neck and finally walked downstairs and went to the kitchen, got out a bottle a water before grabbing my bag and leaving.  
   My mom has been staying in the hospital for the past five months and I'm not allowed to go see her, she has depression and anxiety and she's staying in there because she wants to kill herself and my dad is away on business, since my mom stopped working my dad has had to take every work opportunity that was thrown at him to get us through, I miss them a lot but at the same time I know they're both where they need to be.  
   I pulled up my hood feeling the rain droplets fall on my head and started walking to school. I was afraid of seeing Miles, he could be the sweetest guy in the world and then he could be the meanest, he could throw you the lowest blows you could think of, the most hurtful and he would get this look in his eyes like he was going to hit you. Lately he was always irritated with me.  
   I was walking emotionless for the regular twenty minutes and was soon in sight of the school, I looked over across the street and there Zig was...he was leaning on the picnic table in his perfection, it killed me.  
   I felt a hand take mine and instantly knew it was Miles, I looked over at him and he kissed my cheek, "Hey," he whispered and I just smiled fakely at him which I knew I shouldn't have done, I should have just said hello because I knew that when I didn't speak it irritated him, "Why aren't you talking to me?"  
   "I'm sorry," my voice was quiet, it was always quiet it seemed.  
   "It's okay," he sounded a bit annoyed, he must have gotten into another fight with his dad or his brother, I've seen him get into fights with them before...it would surprise you how far Miles will go to prove he's right.  
   I walked into the building feeling eyes on me, I was almost sure that they belonged to Zig, as soon as I walked through the doors the principle, Mr. Simpson greeted me.  
   "Just the one I was looking for, Alyson Meece," I nodded looking up at him letting him continue, "Are you familiar with the class we have twice a day with the guidance counselor?"  
   I knew exactly which class it was, they had it everyday in the morning and for final period for students who were discipline cases or students who had "issues."  
   "We have now placed you in that class."  
   "Why...?" I asked.  
   "We know what happened with Cambell and we know what your relationship was to him, we think it'll help you," I knew he was just trying to help and his intentions were pure but part of me got uncontrollably anxious, Zig was in that class, "I'll escort you."  
   As soon as I walked into the classroom I witnessed a girl with blue hair stab a pair of scissors in between a boys legs who was sitting down then she yelled, "What did I tell you about my sister?!"  
   "Whoa, I'm sorry okay? I won't look at her again," he had his hands up in surrender as she turned to me.  
   "What are you looking at, wannabe?" she asked, clearly annoyed at me but I didn't reply, I just sat down in one of the seats that were sat in a circle.  
    The bell rang and the students sat in their seats around the circle, my heart sank when I realized Zig wasn't there, "Knowing what skills you bring to the workplace can help you break in. Several useful skills -" the councilor started but what cut off by the girl with blue hair.  
   "What if I don't have any skills, Ms. Growl?"  
   "Well, you've got one useful skill Grace, interrupting," Ms. Growl answered making everyone else laugh and her continue, "Okay, if you won't listen to me, maybe you'll listen to each other. We're doing character interviews, why you're here, what you want, find out what skills you bring to the table. You'll present later today and twist...you'll present as each other, so everyone partner up."  
   As soon as the word "partners" got brought up my eyes widened, everyone in this class hated me, hell almost everyone in the school either hated me or felt sorry for me other then Miles and my friends Sarah and Kristen.  
   Everyone else stood up but I just sat there by myself, I leaned over to Ms. Growl and asked, "Can I just interview myself, if its okay?"  
   "You need a partner, Alyson," she was handing out a prompt for the assignment when I heard her say, "The perpetual late comer to the rescue," I turned to see Zig standing there in front of Ms. Growl when she asked me, "Alyson, have you met Zig Novak?"  
   "Oh yeah," Zig answered sitting in the seat next to me and putting his arm around the shoulders of my chair with a smirk, "Me and Alley go way back."     
   I was right, Zig had changed...so much, I knew that this wasn't him, he had this look in his eyes whenever he would say something slightly hurtful that made me believe that he was lying every time.  
   "Full name?" I asked not able to meet his eyes.  
   "Brutus," I started to write down his real name under the question when he touched my arm, stopping me, "Actually, Alyson, that's not what I said. The assignment is all about listening, you know?"  
   I erased what I had written and wrote "Brutus" as he wished and asked, "What employable skills do you have?"  
   "Stabbing people in the back," I looked up and met his eyes already staring unexpectedly into mine.  
   I decided to let the answer go and asked, "Why are you here?"  
   "Well isn't it obvious?" he stabbed the table a few inches from me with his hands and continued, "Stabbing is hard work, I've got carpal tunnel, roman health care doesn't cover that."  
   "How is everything going over here?" Ms. Growl came up to us and asked.  
   "Everythings going fine," I answered quietly looking down at the paper in front of me.  
   After class was over I sat in the cafeteria and looked through all the answers I got from Zig, I heard footsteps and looked over to see Sarah and Miles walking toward me.  
   Miles greeted me with a kiss on the cheek, I tried to close my binder quickly but not before Miles saw what was inside, "You're partners with Zig?"  
   "Yeah," I admitted shoving my binder in my backpack, "I'm sorry, I have a lot of work to do, I should go."  
   I was surprised that Miles let me go so easily but that was probably because Sarah was there and we weren't alone.           
   I walked back to Ms. Growl's room and sat down, when the bell rang everyone was seated and Ms. Growl was choosing the groups to go.  
   During the first presentation Zig walked in and sat beside me, I couldn't help but look at him, he was so perfect and I hated the fact that he hated me so much. Zig and I were the last ones to go and when Ms. Growl called on us we walked to the front of the room sitting down in the two chairs we were meant to sit in.  
   Zig wore a smirk on his face as he started, "Hello, my name is Alyson Meece and I think I'm better then all of you, breathing the same air as you is making me sick...and who might you be? Handsome devil."  
   "I'm Zig Novak, and I can't seem to listen to the right people," I put my paper down on the seat and walked out of the room, grabbing my stuff on the way out.  
   When I looked back Zig was sitting there wide-eyed staring after me like he actually cared whether what he said hurt me or not.  
   I never wanted to be with him as much as I wanted to right then, and the idiot that I am I had hope.


	2. You Need To Leave

   I walked into Mrs. Growls class to see the tables turned over and toy balls being thrown everywhere, I immediatley hid behind a table when Zig kneeled next to me.  
   "I'm sorry, Zig, I shouldn't have said that," I apologized seeing him throw a ball at one of the other students.  
   "Look, Alyson, save your apologies for someone who cares, okay? I hate you," I felt my eyes stinging, I wouldn't have minded if someone else told me that but coming from him it hurt so badly.  
   "Stop pretending like you give a shit," Grace snickered at me making me do the only thing I thought neccissary, walk out.   
   I walked to the bathroom and into one of the stalls and dug into my backpack feeling my heartbeat increase, I could hardly breathe, I searched around and as soon as I felt the crumpled napkin I took it out.  
   I took the rubberband off and unwrapped the napkin slowly, I felt the cold metal in my hands and shivered, I lifted my sleeve and pressed the razorblade down on my skin.  
   I watched the beads of blood fill the cut and repeated the process a few times until my heartbeat was normal again, I wrapped the razorblade back into the napkin and tied the rubberband back around it again.  
   I was walking in the hallway when I felt someone grab my arm making me winse, my arm was stinging as the fingers tightened around my cuts.  
   I looked over to see Miles standing there, "Where were you this morning?"  
   "I got here late, I'm sorry," I answered, trying not to let the pain show on my face.  
   "Well not my problem, will I see you later?" he chuckled, making me feel relieved.  
   "I have a lot of work to do so probably not."  
   "Why the fuck don't you wanna hangout with me anymore?" he was getting irritated.  
   "Calm down," my voice was louder, angry trying not to show how scared I really was.  
   "Don't tell me to fucking calm down, I'll do whatever I want to, you can't tell me what to do," he let go of my arm and walked away.  
   The day passed by very slowly it seemed after that and when it came to going to Ms. Growls class again I went but kept my mouth shut and kept my distance.  
   I stared at Zig, seeing a certain sadness that I haven't really seen before and it worried me. I was relieved when the bell rang, I was the first one out of the class with Zig right behind me. He started walking in front of me so I decided to follow him.  
   I watched him make some kind of deal with one of the many shady guys at our school, I didn't know exactly what kind of deal because I couldn't hear what they were talking about, I guess that was for the best.  
   When he separated from the guy he started walking down the street with me following unnoticeably behind. We walked for another twenty minutes when Zig walked up to a house.  
   The windows were boarded up and there was a "For Sale" sign on the front lawn. I watched him as he pulled a crate from behind one of the bushes and placed it under one of the windows then stood up, opened the window, and stepped in closing the window behind him, looking around stealthfully as he went.  
   My heart was in my stomach, I knew exactly what he was doing...he was squatting, living in an abandoned house. It was very dangerous and very unsafe, it made me feel uneasy.  
   I knew I was going to regret it but I walked slowly up to the door of the abandoned house, I knocked softly a few times when he ripped the door open making my eyes go wide.  
   "How did you find this place?" he asked, he was clearly angry.  
   "I followed you from school...I just wanted to know if you were alright," I answered quietly looking up at him to see something in his eyes change.  
   "You need to go," his voice was quieter as he closed the door in my face.  
   "Zig..." I knocked lightly on the door again, "Zig, please...I want to help."  
   I got no response, just deep breathing on the other side of the door, knowing that he had to stay here made me sad, I couldn't imagine how he was feeling.  
    
   I was walking into school when someone gripped my arm, I looked over to see Miles, "Why didn't I see you yesterday after we talked?"  
   "I thought you were mad at me and I was busy," I replied softly.  
   "I could never actually be mad at you," he kissed my temple and took my hand in his cold one.  
   I liked this Miles, except for the fact that anything I did would piss him off and I wouldn't even have any idea I was doing it. I felt Miles kiss my head and whisper goodbye then watched him walk away.  
   When he was finally gone someone tugged at my shoulder, I turned over to see Zig standing there, he was still mad about yesterday.  
   "Who the hell do you think you are? Did you tell a teacher?!" he asked.  
   "I didn't tell anyone, I swear, Zig."  
   "Don't speak my name like it belongs in your mouth, Alyson. You know they could call childrens aid? They're gonna put me in a group home."  
   "Wouldn't that be better then squatting?" my voice became quieter.  
   "Have you ever seen one of those places?"  
   "Zig, why can't you just go back home...?" I wondered, looking up at him regretting asking it as soon as it came out of my mouth.  
   He hesitated in answering but answered softly, "My parents kicked me out."  
   "I'm really sorry...I didn't know," my heart was in my stomach again, I felt terrible.  
   "You don't know...anything," Zig said then walked away rubbing the back of his neck nervously.  
   When I got home later that day I knew exactly what I had to do to help Zig, I took out my phone and replied to Miles before calling my dad.  
   "Hello?" he had his salesman voice on.  
   "Hey, dad, its me," I responded, walking into the kitchen.  
   "Hey Mey-Mey," he said using my nickname.  
   "Um...dad? I have a question..." I went to the refridgerator and took out a bottle of water, I was scared to ask but I had a feeling dad would understand and trust me like he says he does.


	3. Safe Place

   "The point of this exercise is to trust your partner enough to let them catch you," I was standing behind Zig who seemed to have no idea it was me, "So when I say so, switch."  
   "Drop me and die, Grace," Zig muttered falling back letting me catch him in my arms, "Alyson?"  
   "I'm sorry, I didn't know...I really am sorry..."  
   "You should have just stayed out of it," he seemed a little less angry but his tone was still hurtful.  
   "I know...I'm sorry, I just wanted to help," I whispered looking down and switched places doing as Ms. Growl instructed.   
   "Well you can't," Zig replied standing behind me with his arms out.  
   "Yes I can...if you have a safe place to stay then children's aid won't be called," I glanced over my shoulder looking him in the eye.  
   "But I don't have a place to stay."  
   "Yes you do..."  
   "What? Your rich boyfriend is going to spring for a suite?" he snapped, obviously irritated at the thought of Miles making me turn away from him.  
   "No, but there is an extra room at my house for you to stay in," I let myself fall and was surprised when Zig's arms caught me.  
   "Your dad would never say yes..."  
   "He already did, it took some convincing," he was holding me there tightly which surprised me, his arms were so inviting and warm that I never wanted him to let go, "But there are rules; ten o'clock curfew, no drugs or alcohol, no visitors, and the obvious rule."  
   His eyes were wide but his reaction after that left me confused, he just shook his head and walked away with a strange expression.

   I was sitting at home, I hadn't seen Zig since this morning, he must have left school after we talked, I kept asking myself why but never came up with a remotely logical reason.  
   It was dark and storming loudly outside, pouring down rain, I just sat on the couch covered in a blanket finally getting the chance to sit down when lightning struck making the whole house light up.  
   I heard a few knocks on my door and I got up slowly to answer it, I opened the door to see a soaking wet Zig standing with his dark, wet hair covering his perfect face.  
   "Is the offer still open...?"


End file.
